My Kundalini Awakening

bite bite goes the snake of kundalini consciousness

Disclaimer

This is a chronicle of my experiences, and how I knew what was happening and the steps I took to usher in the energy. This isn’t medical advice, and kundalini energy can be really fucking intense. Like… hospitalized for psychosis intense. I think it is also helpful to hear other peoples experiences with their awakenings, to build an oral history to pull from. At the end of the day, my kundalini awakening was one of the best things that has ever happened to me in my life.

What is Kundalini?

Again, this is just my understanding of it, but there are practitioners and monks who commit their entire life to understanding and experiencing this phenomenon. This is my rudimentary definition. Its an energy that sits at the base of your spine, and you can move it up the spine and activate different energy centers along the way. When you have a kundalini awakening, you can feel the energy crack open and cause physical releases, shakes, and jolts similar to that of an orgasm. It is said to awaken a different level of consciousness.

The Pleidians

This wild book was given to me from a neighbor in Chicago while I was in college. She thought I was a reptilian, which somehow became a reoccurring theme for me. Numerous people in my life have though I am a lizard person. I guess its just my vibe. She gave me this book because she thought I needed it more than I did, and it also freaked her out and she didn’t want it in her house anymore. She was from a small town, and everything about Chicago freaked her out. I was never scared or intimidated by Chicago. I have always thrived in chaos.

I was in college and I began reading this book about the Pleidians, a type of alien that inhabit earth, in like… a spirit guide situation (I think). Like… you can call upon your alien spirit guides. I was reading this book during a class ( as I often did, because I was always half paying attention and professors and teachers didn’t seem to mind if I was reading). At the end of each chapter, there are visualizations that embed the information of the chapter into your subconscious. I finish the chapter and I’m reading a visualization, and I feel this jolt of energy. I am overcome with this vibrant violet color. I know things. I know what the professor is going to say. I think it 3 times in a row, and then she repeats the words I said to myself in my head 3 different time in succession.

I run out of the classroom, crying. Am I having a psychotic break? I’m in college, this can’t be happening right now. I need to go to school. I need to be a student. I don’t want to do meditation that makes me able to read my professors thoughts. This isn’t the first time I had experienced prophetic and extreme intuitive capabilities through dreams, feelings, or ideas. However, this was the first time I had accurately predicted what someone would say 3 times in a row stone cold fucking sober. I shut it down. This is important to note. You ALWAYS have the power to shut it down. You always have control and agency of your body.

Psychedelic Precursor

I put the book the fuck down. I understood why it freaked my neighbor out and she gave it to me. I do not know why she gave it to me, her spun out neighbor who was taking acid or mushrooms every other weekend. Later in life, I confessed my heavy psychedelic use in my adolescence to one of my first freelance clients. He said “wow, your a cosmonaut”. I said, “that’s a weird way to say fried, but okay”.

In hindsight, maybe psychedelics at a young age are responsible for my openness to life and the spirit realm. As a woman in her thirties, I see people taking extreme psychedelics for therapeutic and spiritual purposes as a part of a newly legalized wave of wellness. I have my doubts. Sure, you can blast off. If you can’t maintain the grid in your day to day, what is the point? I’m sure it can help people. In my experience, I think it took me way too far way too soon.

Psychedelic culture reaked throughout my midwest high school, that was influenced by a jam band festival that rocked everyones world for a weekend in May. My peers showing up to school with sheets of acid, people dosing each other at school, people insisting they were reincarnations of Jim Morrison, and doing acid on the weekends was just as normal as drinking bottom shelf vodka mixed a questionable mixer (sunny D anyone??)

One of the first trips I had as a 16 year old, involved pissing myself, thinking I was dead, and all of my friends convinced me that we had all died and were in purgatory. Another fun trip was a mushroom trip at 17 (and I had mono??) where I saw my soul and it was so ugly. I saw how hideous I could be. My best friend and boyfriend convinced me through the tears that “I was a beautiful person”. I had one friend, who was into the occult as a young baby high school gay look me straight in the eye and say “you’re right anna. you are a hideous person”.

I knew he was the only person who was able to tell me the truth. I was confronted with the darkest parts of myself. I went home and manically wrote “USE ME” over and over again on a piece of paper. I surrendered my life to be used as a vessel. This was one of the most profound times, and a beautiful experience with g-d.

I say all of this because we had been dancing with devil for a bit. Usually, your kundalini awakening hits naturally in your 40’s, so when mine started to happen in my late 20’s, this is what I credit it too. I also believe with the rapid change of our climate and social structures, I think folks are getting them earlier as our consciousness asks us to snap the fuck out of it and use our psychic and emotional intelligence to look at the world around us and stop being fucking cowards.

Lockdown

During lockdown, with an abundance of time and horny energy that had no outlet besides vigorously working out 2-3 times a day, I revisited the creepy alien book. A friend bought it out of curiosity, and for the second time in my life, she gave it to me because she said “yeah, this book isn’t for me. Its for you”. Sometimes it feels like my life is operating on one big, strange loop that keeps replaying itself.

At this point, I had been vegan for 3 years. I read an interesting passage in the book talking about kundalini awakenings. This book described it as intergalactic intelligence being activated through the body. It said your body would prepare you for this to happen, you would suddenly change your diet to exclude meat, or include meat, for example. The book went on to say that it was normal to have a lot of physical energy as sexual energy (AAYYYOOO).

A year later I did a Pleidian meditation where I told them they could take over my body. I was like, you know what, take the wheel. I surrender, you can have this vessel. 1 month later I stopped being vegan and eliminated processed sugar and carbs from my diet. 6 months later I had my kundalini awakening. When it happened it seemed like a spontaneous thing, but it was something I prepared my mind and body for years ago. About a year before my kundalini awakening, I had started to get constant dreams about getting bit by a snake. Usually on my ankle. Kundalini is typically represented as a snake moving up the spine.

Some of these snake bite dreams were spicy. I would have a snake bite dream, and I’d call a friend to recount the dream, and it would be exactly the situation that they were in. It felt more like astral spying. I’ve had to develop a process of asking people if they are interested in hearing my dream about them. There have been way to many instances that I have dreamt about something that happened, that was meant to remain private.

Big energetic things ripple through and are easier to pick up on. It one of the reasons why we can sometimes sense death or birth. These are huge energetic events. Wormholes of people lives entering and exiting this physical plane.

The Night Before

This is where it gets really fucking weird. I would have had no idea I had a kundalini awakening unless these next few things happened. I have developed a pretty strong trust with myself to just go with my intuition. If I feel something strongly, I do it. No matter how absurd or destructive it could potentially be. I have caught myself so many times, I would always rather listen to my intuition.

I was had just bought a course called “Quantum Leap” and it was really vague as to what happened through it. Some sort of breathwork, but the testimonials were just absolutely incredible. A voice inside me said “this is it”. Alright, lets full send. I bought it to do the next day.

I did a ritual that night with candles and an altar. The little voice popped up and I went to go look at the book titles “Kundalini”. I still am not super sure where this came from. Perhaps it was a gift, but I had never been terribly interested in kundalini. I opened it to chapter 3 which was titled “How To Know When Your Kundalini Awakens” or something along these lines.

I bring a stone into bed with me, which I almost NEVER do. I’m really sensitive to crystal energies, so I usually don’t have a ton around me and never sleep with them. I went to bed with the shiva lingam that night, which I later found out that it was for activating kundalini energy.

That night I had a dream, and clear as day I heard “It is time for your kundalini to awaken”. Alright. Lets do this. I wake up and do the course. The first couple hours are just talking, and then the last 30 or 40 minutes is a guided pranayama. 10 minutes in, I felt like I was getting shocked by an electric eel. My back arched like an intense orgasm or exorcism (who can tell the difference), and my brain was completely empty and buzzing with sensations.

If I hadn’t have had 3 confirmations that this was, in fact, a kundalini awakening I probably would have chocked it up to some juicy breathwork. What happened after the moment of the kundalini awakening is a whole other blog post. This completely changed the course of my life, and how I am able to communicate, trust, and believe in myself. There is a solution to every problem. I know that g-d will provide, and I trust myself and my intuition in a way that adds a touch of whimsy to everything I do.

Part 2 coming because that’s a whole other pot of tea.