Embarrassment to Quantum Leap

Adam Sandler in Billy Madison’s icon “peeing your pants is cool” scene

Shameless

If you want different results, you have to live differently. So often we hear about “stepping out of your comfort zone”, but we never really dive much deeper in it then that. We just pause at “leave your comfort zone, and then things will start to change”. Typically, in the motivational sense it changes for the good, but stepping into the zone can also prep it for shit to get bad. How many people living on the street were risk taking people stepping out of their comfort zone. A zest for life on the wild side?

Lets take a couple steps back, and talk about shame. Why do we feel it? Why do we let shame and embarrassment take up so much space. When we think about how are life is supposed to be, or what the appropriate way to act is, we pause and follow the status quo to a tea. What is we didn’t. What if we danced in the streets? Talked to the stranger? Gave someone a high five? Sang a song? If we are supposed to be connected to nature, and “touch the grass to ground”, then why wouldn't we, by nature, act wild and shameless when we are outside? If sun good, why no make loud noise in sun alone?

Embarrassment Surplus

When I went through a divorce and estrangement with my family 3 years ago, I was cracked the fuck open. Thrust into a place where I had to heal and take accountability for the person I was to become, and not let sadness overcome me. I knew I could not remain the person I was before, because I was going through a rug pull. I turned to music, and by default- dance. I would go on walks and listen to music, and I would soak in the sun that was barely peaking through in the Rocky Mountain winter for a few hours a day. I found myself surrendering to dance. I would listen to music on a speaker, and dance shamelessly in my neighborhood. If people stared, I didn’t notice. This was my time to experience joy and piece myself together to feel like a happy girl.

I never stopped dancing. A few years later, something clicked- I was about to manifest things quicker when I was doing my public dance. I would think things, and they would appear. I would fall into a place of “head empty, only vibes”, and things would flow to me. Life became effortless, and people came into my life and flipped it upside down. The relationships, money, joy, peace, contentment just announced itself.

I think its important to note that by dancing out these emotions on the street it wasn’t all happiness and joy. We had some sad girl moments. Weeping in the snow filled streets after dark listening to dramatic showtunes, while dancing with my shadow in the streetlight. When I honored my emotions and let them fully express themself in a fully theatre kid kind of way, it allowed me to experience a catharsis and freedom that completely changed my life. I never held peoples opinions of my extremely high. It was never something that was my business, but dancing through the neighborhood I became an air bender. Moving the energy of the block with my hand, and prancing around like a delusional child.

Tameless

Shame keeps us safe and unexposed, but this isn’t where the magic happens. The magic happens where you release yourself from the expectation you keep for yourself, how it is polite and well mannered to behave, and let yourself go feral. Let yourself run through the streets. Treat yourself like the village crazy person who is all powerful, all humble, and all free. Shame keeps us insecure, wanting more, and needing products to keep fixing who we are, so we can fit into a plastic world that will teach us to consume, breath, and shit plastic. What if you want the dirt, sweat, and tears? Fuck shame. Life is too short to judge yourself. Let it go.